


Me Cago en la Hostia

by writingandchocolatemilk



Series: SpaMano Oneshots [23]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, NSFW, Sexting, Skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 03:41:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8733382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingandchocolatemilk/pseuds/writingandchocolatemilk
Summary: "Spain, Sunday is Skype day.""Yes, Romano.""Spain, Sunday is phone sex day.""The holiest day of the week."





	

**Author's Note:**

> **Anonymous said :** Could I have "Don't think for one second I'm not naked" for spamano pls? Thank you and have a nice day!

"Good morning, Italy," Spain said, paying quickly and smiling a thanks to the cashier. "I'm afraid I won't be able to Skype until later."

"Why the fuck not?" There was the distant sounds of Italian; it was probably Veneziano.

"Ah, I had to go in to work today."

"It's Sunday!"

Spain took a sip of his coffee. "The barista got my order wrong, but it tasted better than the coffee I was going to order, isn't that funny?"

"Spain, I'm horny."

Spain nodded. "I know, I'm sorry. But I need to go over some reports for next year, and the secretary called me frantic because she locked herself out of the office."

"Spain, Sunday is Skype day."

"Yes, Italy."

"Spain, Sunday is phone sex day."

"The holiest day of the week."

"Spain, I'm fucking  _horny_."

Spain hung his head, nearly bumping into a lady on the street. "I know, I'm sorry, but it should only be for a few hours, and then I promise—"

"Don't think for one second I'm not naked."

Spain switched to Italian. "What?"

"I am currently laying on my bed, staring at my dick. It was expecting to see a Spanish dick on Skype, and it's very confused as to where the other dick is."

"Romano—"

"Don't  _Romano_  me."

"—I'm at the office. Please, be patient, and your dick can see my Spanish dick as soon as it's free, I promise. Now, read a nice book and think of my sexy, Spanish dick, and I promise it will only be a few hours at most."

"I am horn—"

"I love you, goodbye." Spain hung up.

Spain let the secretary into the building, waving away her apologies. It was only the two of them, and Spain quickly gathered the leftover work from Friday and settled down at Julio's desk. Julio had the comfiest chair in the entire building, and Spain threw his feet up on the table.

His phone buzzed in his pocket.

Spain continued to read, absently humming.

Buzz buzz.

"There is few to deny that…" Spain muttered, flipping to the next page and skimming. "Huh. Camila, did you know that we're going to invite Fausto over for a Christmas diplomatic meeting?"

"No, sir."

Spain leaned over—buzz buzz—and scrawled a suggestion in the margins. While—

Buzz buzz.

"Oh for…" Spain pulled out his phone.

Four text messages.

Number one:  _Did you hang up on me?_

Number two:  _When the fuck did you hang up on me, I was talking for like another ten minutes after you said goodbye._

Number three:  _Are you ignoring me you fucker_

And the forth was a picture of Lovino's dick, standing to attention.

Spain immediately locked his phone, staring at his reflection in the screen. There was no way Camila could have possibly seen anything—but still.

Spain tried to casually glance up at her. They made eye contact. Spain immediately scrambled for the manila folder he had been reading.

He forced his attention back to the contents of the folder. "While the festival has a great effect on the mood… Little reason to…" He drew a frowny face by the paragraph, but didn't debate more than that.

The phone buzzed.

Another picture, one of Romano's hand wrapped around his dick. Spain immediately locked the phone again, feeling his cheeks heat up. He, too, was horny, and he could feel his dick start to press against his pant leg.

"Don't betray me, you bastard," he hissed to his crotch.

"I'm sorry, sir?"

Spain nearly jumped out of his skin. "Nothing," he said loudly. "I'm just reading to myself!"

Spain turned his attention back to his work. He switched to a new document, humming distractedly. "What the hell is a linguistics society?"

"Sir?"

"I didn't know we had one of those."

"Mhm. I think they contacted us about adding that phrase about Christ to the dictionary."

"What phrase?"

The secretary stared at him. "The one about shitting on the body of Christ."

Spain grinned. "They want to add that to the dictionary?"

"No, they want us to publicly denounce it."

"Oh."

The phone buzzed. Spain steeled himself and checked the message. It was a selfie of Romano, holding up his middle finger.

Spain took his own selfie.

Romano quickly texted him back.

_Sext me_

Spain sighed.

_I'm working !_

Another picture of Romano's dick.

"Sir?"

Spain threw his phone under the desk. "What!"

Camila drew back slightly. "I need you to sign the suggestions you recommended last Wednesday, and just look over them." She placed the folder on his desk. "Is… everything alright?"

Spain laughed, a little too loud. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"Um. You threw your phone."

"I'm testing my new case."

They stared at one another.

"I'm going to sign these now."

Camila nodded and returned to her desk.

Spain dragged his phone back with his foot. He picked it up and dialed Romano, ducking down slightly so Camila couldn't see him talking. It rung for a frustratingly long time before Romano answered.

"What?"

"Romano, I'm trying to work."

"Hey man, you don't have to look at the texts I send you. And so what if I text you?"

Spain signed a few of the papers. "I'm trying to concentrate."

"And?"

"And your dick is distracting," Spain whispered.

"Really?"

Spain accidentally started to sign as  _Spain_ , and he had to cross out the pen and write in his alias. "I know that probably turns you on, but I can't read when I'm thinking of you."

"That's sexy," Romano said, voice low and dark and going directly to Spain's dick.

"Stop it!" Spain hissed.

"What?!"

"Stop saying stuff sexy-like!" Spain finished signing.

"I'm just trying to speak and I don't need this fucking sass. When are you going home? I want to Skype."

Spain sighed. "Right now."

"Oh, really?"

"Camila," Spain called, gathering his various folders together. "I'm going to head home to look this stuff over. Don't be afraid to call me if you have any questions."

 

* * *

 

Spain groaned, watching Romano writhe on the screen in front of him. Sweat was slick on Spain's forehead, but Romano hadn't told him when he could touch himself yet.

"Italy," Spain panted. "Please—"

"No," Romano snapped. "Fucking agree to go to work today of all fucking days." His hand danced around the head of his dick, and he let out the sweetest noise.

Spain gripped his legs, his dick throbbing. He licked his lips, soaking up every inch of Romano on the screen. His legs, his ass, his face contorting, and his soft moans. Spain's hand inched closer to his dick.

"Please."

Romano cracked one eye open. "You can—"

Spain's phone rang.

Spain reached over, eyes still glued on Romano. "Hello?"

"Did you just answer the fucking  _phone_?"

"Sorry, sir, but I was just wondering when you were planning on returning the documents you signed? They're already late, and they—"

"Are you seriously talking on the fucking  _phone_  right now?!"

"—get to the proper people for reviewing. I was planning on—"

"I cannot believe I am laying here, my glorious body—"

"Dropping them off today after we finished in the office."

Spain had to bite his tongue to stop his moan. Angry Romano turned him on a ridiculous amount. "I'll drop them by in about an hour," he said, voice hoarse.

"Of course, sir. Sorry to interrupt you."

"Oh, it's no problem." Spain hung up.

Romano stared at him, completely still accept for his arm. " _No problem_!?"

Spain grinned.

"Oh my fucking God, you're getting off to this, aren't you? You can't touch yourself yet, get your hands where I can fucking see them, you fucker."


End file.
